The Culmination

My exam is tomorrow and I am sitting and typing out this post now. Well, everyone needs a break. Or like my parents keep reminding me, I apparently study in the breaks :P

Tomorrow marks the culmination of 6 months of work. I wanted to write hard work, but no, in all honesty maybe I could have worked harder. (Is it just me or does everyone feel that way before an exam?)

To sit in one place for more than 45 minutes staring at carbohydrates and sphingolipids has really exhausted me mentally.The monstrosity of the the syllabus that I have had to swim through has left me overwhelmed. And yes, I am definitely feeling the pressure, but I think it is more just the pressure that I quit a job I love, to sit and study for one of the more competitive exams in India. I have had my many many moments of frustration, many feelings of being incompetent and of course, the worry that what I am just not good enough.

So,does mean that if I don't clear this exam everything ends here? Hell no! Just studying for this exam has given me enough and more ideas of what I want to do after this. It has definitely given me direction and clarity. It has reminded me of how much I love being a teacher and a lifelong student, of how much I love biochemistry as a subject.

For the first time, in a very long time I feel focussed and my heart says "Bring it on".

This isn't the end, it is definitely the beginning.

".. And miles to go before I sleep,

     And miles to go before I sleep"- Robert Frost

Krupa