Taking a small break from the birthday posts, this is something that I contemplated writing after I turned 30, but no, I think I'm ready for it now.
Yes I am 30 and yes I am not married. Nope I am not secretly in love with someone. Nope I am not rebelling against marriage. And no, nothing is wrong with me. I am perfectly healthy- physically and mentally. I am also ready to get married. But things don't just happen when you want, right? Some things take time to happen. You have to give it that time. I understand that. Why doesn't the rest of the world?
"What have my parents been doing for so long", some nosy people ask. My parents have been living their life and letting me live mine. Whoever said that getting their daughter married was their sole purpose in life? And please don't tell me it is their "job/duty"? By the way, if parenting was considered as a duty, then mind you getting me married doesn't end their call of duty.
What do I want from a groom, asks everyone. Good question. I wish that answer was simple. I want everything. A friend, a roommate, a party planner, a partner in crime, a person who thinks like me, but is nothing like me. A guy who can handle tears, and one who can write well. A man who knows when to stand up for me and when to let me face the fire. A person to sit on the sofa beside me and read a book, one to walk along the streets and hold my hand. A man who doesn't shy away from PDA, but also knows that he doesn't have to assert his right over me in front of my guy friends. A guy who can accept my guy friends, because lets face it, I have more of them in my contacts list. A person who understands that I need my time alone and I need my girly gossip time. A man who surprises me with flowers mid week and understands I like to shop alone. A guy who doesn't sympathize with me only at 'that time of the month' and a guy who doesn't write off my mood swings as PMS. A person who can talk sports and politics with my sister, because I know nothing on those. That special someone to balance my hyperness and also understand how much I love life. A guy who never compares me to his mother, sister, or ex girlfriend. A guy willing to cry to me (not literally) about how his ex broke his heart. That person who understands that I have secrets that I don't wish to share. Someone who can accept that I too have a past , but my present and future is with him. The sanity to my craziness.
I want a simple wedding. I don't have the patience to go through 5 dress changes and allow 7 ladies to stand in the room and watch as one patti ties that 9 yard sari, while the rest just throw about their 2 cents worth of knowledge. I really don't care who did all the work and how someone else took all the credit for it. I don't want to have the bride's room filled with boxes and boxes of stuff that are not the bride's and everyone just walks in and out of the room like it is a train station. I am too old to sleep at 1am and get up at 3am to wash my hair in cold water and wait for a makeup artist to do my makeup and hair while I sit in a blouse and petticoat and the damn 'candid' photographer hovers around trying to click pictures of me that look natural yet not obscene (remember I have not yet draped the sari). I don't want to hear how my dad's third cousin's wife's sister whines about getting a sari worth only 2000INR while my mother's second cousin's granddaughter got a sari worth 300INR. (why do we give saris to everyone? I don't get it. I mean I am the one getting married, why does everyone else need gifts?). And don't even get me started on how I have to not eat food till 4pm (after waking up at 3am) but everyone else gets to rave about the amazing pal payasam. After all that I will barely remember even a moment of the wedding and will have to hear everyone, and I mean everyone, give me their version of what happened.
All I want is to exchange garlands, sit on my daddy's lap, get a thaali tied, cry a bit, get the marriage certified by a registrar and then get on with living my life. I suppose that isn't too hard now, is it?
Okay who am I kidding, we all know that while this makes for a great blog post and a very vague possibility, I have zero control over how things will actually pan out, but well. this is what would be on my mind. Thoughts of a 30 year old on marriage.
krupa
Yes I am 30 and yes I am not married. Nope I am not secretly in love with someone. Nope I am not rebelling against marriage. And no, nothing is wrong with me. I am perfectly healthy- physically and mentally. I am also ready to get married. But things don't just happen when you want, right? Some things take time to happen. You have to give it that time. I understand that. Why doesn't the rest of the world?
"What have my parents been doing for so long", some nosy people ask. My parents have been living their life and letting me live mine. Whoever said that getting their daughter married was their sole purpose in life? And please don't tell me it is their "job/duty"? By the way, if parenting was considered as a duty, then mind you getting me married doesn't end their call of duty.
What do I want from a groom, asks everyone. Good question. I wish that answer was simple. I want everything. A friend, a roommate, a party planner, a partner in crime, a person who thinks like me, but is nothing like me. A guy who can handle tears, and one who can write well. A man who knows when to stand up for me and when to let me face the fire. A person to sit on the sofa beside me and read a book, one to walk along the streets and hold my hand. A man who doesn't shy away from PDA, but also knows that he doesn't have to assert his right over me in front of my guy friends. A guy who can accept my guy friends, because lets face it, I have more of them in my contacts list. A person who understands that I need my time alone and I need my girly gossip time. A man who surprises me with flowers mid week and understands I like to shop alone. A guy who doesn't sympathize with me only at 'that time of the month' and a guy who doesn't write off my mood swings as PMS. A person who can talk sports and politics with my sister, because I know nothing on those. That special someone to balance my hyperness and also understand how much I love life. A guy who never compares me to his mother, sister, or ex girlfriend. A guy willing to cry to me (not literally) about how his ex broke his heart. That person who understands that I have secrets that I don't wish to share. Someone who can accept that I too have a past , but my present and future is with him. The sanity to my craziness.
I want a simple wedding. I don't have the patience to go through 5 dress changes and allow 7 ladies to stand in the room and watch as one patti ties that 9 yard sari, while the rest just throw about their 2 cents worth of knowledge. I really don't care who did all the work and how someone else took all the credit for it. I don't want to have the bride's room filled with boxes and boxes of stuff that are not the bride's and everyone just walks in and out of the room like it is a train station. I am too old to sleep at 1am and get up at 3am to wash my hair in cold water and wait for a makeup artist to do my makeup and hair while I sit in a blouse and petticoat and the damn 'candid' photographer hovers around trying to click pictures of me that look natural yet not obscene (remember I have not yet draped the sari). I don't want to hear how my dad's third cousin's wife's sister whines about getting a sari worth only 2000INR while my mother's second cousin's granddaughter got a sari worth 300INR. (why do we give saris to everyone? I don't get it. I mean I am the one getting married, why does everyone else need gifts?). And don't even get me started on how I have to not eat food till 4pm (after waking up at 3am) but everyone else gets to rave about the amazing pal payasam. After all that I will barely remember even a moment of the wedding and will have to hear everyone, and I mean everyone, give me their version of what happened.
All I want is to exchange garlands, sit on my daddy's lap, get a thaali tied, cry a bit, get the marriage certified by a registrar and then get on with living my life. I suppose that isn't too hard now, is it?
Okay who am I kidding, we all know that while this makes for a great blog post and a very vague possibility, I have zero control over how things will actually pan out, but well. this is what would be on my mind. Thoughts of a 30 year old on marriage.
krupa
5 comments:
I don't know what to write because my eyes got misty (genes). Well expressed but as you pointed out in the end zero control is something too watch out for 😊
Nice Krupa!! We all are waiting for the day...hope you will get the person as you mentioned.... God bless you...
Powerful stuff...... How to keep this zest for life going irrespective of when ppl get married......
Hope* not how!!
you spoke my mind sweetheart .... happy birthday and thankyou for penning this blog .... and keep the spirits high that is the only way ... Glad to know you :)
Post a Comment