BUSY

People always ask me- Why are you always busy. I make up stuff like- Oh I'm a workaholic, I love my work, I am duty bound, a teacher's job never ends, blah blah blah. Though that may be partially true, there is so much more.
Being not busy means asking friends to meet up, going out and having some fun. Being not busy means having the time to catch up with those who matter to you. Being not busy also means getting turned down by all the other busy people. So what is the purpose of being not busy?? Just to hear every person around you say- Oh I have relatives coming over, I'm working in the lab today, I have lots of cleaning to do.
Atleast some people have the courtesy and the presence of mind to always have an excuse. The rest, they just don't reply. It makes you realise that you don't matter as much as something else does.
When no one has the time for anyone else, why should anyone else be anything but busy?
And so like always- I am Busy.

Krupa

Ten Years.

How easily we talk about a decade.

Jan 2004:
She sat in the exam hall, staring at the question paper. Vant Hoff factor. Oh come on. Surely atleast this time you know what it is. Something about electrolytes and a theoretical value. Forget it. I will never pass chemistry.

Feb 2004:
Dressed in a white sari and a candle in her hand, she looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. School life as they knew it was coming to an end. She didn't want the evening to end. Maybe if she held on a little longer, things would not change. They all cried and hugged and promised to keep in touch.

March 2004:
Eat. Study. Cry. Study some more. Eat. Sleep. This seemed like a routine. When would these exams come to an end. Why did chemistry have to be the last paper. Stupid Chemistry.

May 2004:
Thank you God. I passed in Chemistry.

June 2004:
Me? I study at Joseph's. MCB. Microbiology, Chemistry and Botany.

June 2007:
Biochemistry is what I want appa. I am sure. No more staring into microscopes.

June 2009:
What am I doing? Oh I am waiting to do M.Phil at University of Madras.

June 2010:
I teach at Bethany High School. Chemistry for class 11 and 12 (jaws around me drop and I love that reaction).

March 2014:
"Vant Hoff factor is the ratio between the observed and calculated value for colligative properties telling us whether a solute undergoes association or dissociation in solution".  God please let me students remember this better than I did.

It has been 10 years. I have grown. 10 years it has taken for me to be comfortable with a subject I never thought I would pass in.10 years to confidently stand in front of class and teach what I was never confident about. 10 years to gain a few kilos :P 10 years to grow out of being a not so popular person into the a valuable asset to my department (atleast I like to believe I am). 10 years to discover that I could teach chemistry, dance, take photos, make powerpoint presentations, set question papers, correct answer scripts, take tuition,be the author of a makeup blog, be the editor of a newsletter, be on the basketball team, go out for coffee, perform in shows, teach dance, design clothes, shop, MC, organize events and yet have time for me. 10 years to know that there is so much more to me than what I knew which makes me realise that all my students need is a push to reach their potential.
10 years is a long time and when I look back I have achieved a lot. Maybe I could have done more, maybe I have done more.
10 years later is now.
Now as I watch my students go through their Valedictory and their Board exams I am reminded of a thin tall girl with geeky glasses and a long long skirt standing outside the exam hall with chemistry notes in her hand and fear in her heart. Now she prays that none of her students go with that fear. If only they could see what 10 years would do to them. Then again, 10 years is a long time away.

Krupa

Why I dance

Everyone who knows me, knows I dance. They also know how much I love dance. But why?
This video link was sent to me by a friend, a guy who has known me for barely a month and he yet he knows what dance means to me. This video got me thinking, why do I dance?

Dance is about the expression. 
That feeling I get when every part of my body is moving to the rhythm. 
When all I want is to let go. 
When I want to cry.
When I am happy. 
When I am frustrated.
It is about showing love and anger. 
It is about the stage, and the applause.
It for everybody but for nobody.
It is for me.

Dance is mine.
In my every breath, In my every step.
I cannot walk, I can only dance.
It travels with me. I travel for it.
The beat is in my heart.
The music in my soul.
The movement in my feet.
I dance because it is me.

All the world is a stage
A stage for my dance to be heard.
A cry for help, a tantrum.
The arrogance, the innocence.
The divine, the ego.
It all storms through me
It rips me apart.
Dance makes me whole.
It makes me complete.
Without it, I am not me.

People always leave.
My dance stays.
Till death do us apart.
Dance is me and I, dance.
This is why I dance.