Sunday, March 30, 2014

After all I am just their teacher.

"Ma'am nothing what you taught came", "This was the worst paper ever", "Ma'am are you sure this name reaction is in the syllabus, none of us remember reading it". 
I woke up with a start. The accusations were still ringing in my ears. I checked the time by squinting at the screen of my phone. 4:07am. There was still a few more hours before my students wrote their exam. Why did they always have to keep chemistry as the last exam and with a two week break.? Of course no one studied for those two weeks. Maybe the last three days. I wondered if R* had finished organic and if A* had finished coordination chemistry. She really wasn't comfortable with the nomenclature. I should have worked out a few more compounds with her. Maybe a few more sums on mole concept would have really benefited the whole class. With these thoughts filling my head, I fell back into a disturbed sleep. I had been up till 1am the previous night going over the entire inorganic section with a student and having had a very restless night, I woke up grumpily and groggy at 7am. I did have to get to school and take class for the 11ths.

It was 1pm. My students were gathered on the steps and I dreaded the torrent of questions. I am not a walking encyclopedia of chemistry and when they just bombarded me with questions one hour before the exam it really threw me off. But for a change, they were silent. They just discussed things amongst themselves. I am pretty sure that I even heard some talk about basketball scores. They seemed relatively relaxed. More than I felt anyway. I sat in a corner not sure whether to enter in a discussion with any of them or not. 

It was 5pm. I must have stared at the clock for the past 3 minutes and it wasn't moving any faster than before. It really took forever for them to come out of the exam hall. With each passing minute, it felt like time was just crawling by. Crawling.

5.15pm. "Ma'am it was a good paper". I smiled, a not-fully-convinced smile. I glanced over the question paper. It was relatively easier than the last year's paper. I wondered if P* had written neatly without squashing everything together and if L* had managed to answer all of the organic. Most of them barely looked at me. Maybe one or two said thank you. And then it was over.

They all went their own ways- to eat, to play basketball or football, or to just get home and sleep. I just stood unsure of where I was supposed to go. After all, I was just their teacher....


krupa

*names changed to protect the identity