It is very rare that I get fired up by a social cause and talk about it on a public forum. I am not one of those women who advocates Feminism with my every breath (I mean if the guy wants to get the bill and open doors for me, I am not complaining), but I do believe that gender equality and breaking stereotypes is important. Especially for the upcoming generations.
I recently came across a video on YouTube where the UN has brought in 7 YouTubers as Change Ambassadors. All 7 are women. While it is heartening to see that so many women are standing up and being represented, why only women?? Why has the UN not recruited any men from the world of YouTube as Change Ambassadors? Are men happy that they are always portrayed as muscular and strong and the one who isn't allowed to cry?
Why is it that it is always women who are seen to be in the forefront of change when it comes to inequality? Are the men too busy making money and careers to care about it? Or are they not being given a platform?
Some time last year, Vogue has put out a beautiful video which was called #StartWithTheBoys. It talked about how from a very young age, a baby boy is taught to not cry to express his emotion. No wonder they have issues talking about how they feel as they grow older. Having worked with a very interesting age group of kids (14-19), I know how hard it is to get a guy to express his emotions. I have struggled and sometimes, I have written it off as hormones. In his head it is is either anger or happiness, that's all. Two ends of the spectrum. What happens to every thing else that he feels? Are those not emotions worth being talked about? Is he not allowed to be upset and show that he is upset but not angry?
Most women complain that she can never get through to her guy. That her husband/ boyfriend/ fiancee/bestie/ brother is incapable of having a conversation without it turning into a shouting match and this usually ends with the woman saying "fine" and the man reading it as "oh now she is pissed with me and I have to give up what I want for her because she is weaker".
Men are sensitive too. They are just bad are accepting it. They mask every emotion because it is what they have been taught to do. It is what they have been told to do. It was what they believe to be acceptable.
I think what I am trying to say is that while I applaud the UN for having gender equality as one of their 17 sustainable goals, maybe, just maybe, they need to go about it in a different way.
I loved Emma Watson's speech- He for She. She has all the right points in place. But I would love for it to come from a man as well.
Now you may ask how am I doing anything about this. Well for starters, my fashion blogs always features real people, The guys with the beer bellies, the short petite women, the acne riddled faces (such as my own). This is me telling the world that I believe that models for a fashion blog need not be perfect. I don't need your toned, 6 pack ab to showcase my styling and the brands that I feature. And I sure as hell am not going to photoshop it in. Real people. Real stories. That is what my fashion blog is about.
Secondly, I like to believe that I have given my students and friends and family the comfort level to come and talk to me about anything. No judgement will be passed. If it is a guy who wants to cry about how a girl who secretly had a crush on for 4 years broke his heart, I am there to hear it. When my mom wants to prove that she can still lift suitcases from the attic all by herself, I stand by her (inside I do cringe and worry that she may hurt her back but that is because of the age and not the gender). When my sister come back after a gig at 2am, I tell my parents to not worry 'because she is a girl'.
Thirdly, I don't usually talk about controversial topics only because I find that the discussions (read as comments) that follow are totally useless and not helpful. However starting with this post, I am going to make myself heard a lot more especially if it something that I think can be changed. If I can help change even one person, I will be happy.
So my darling students and my friends, this is for you.
To girls out there- encourage the men in your life to talk. It takes time and he may surprise you (remember Paul Stevens. The older man that Rachel dates in FRIENDS and how he never stops crying in one episode). But do it. You need to be the role model for the next generation of girls who are never going to understand that feminism is not about fighting for women alone unless they see that the coin has two sides.
To the guys out there- There is nothing wrong with getting touch with your emotional side and expressing it. Okay sure maybe you don't want to be crying on a date but find a way to express it. Write prose, write poetry, shout it out, whisper it. but get it out of your system. It is not macho to get drunk to and send emo-shit messages to the women in your life. You are human. You are supposed to have emotions to express. If you don't, then you are definitely classified as a robot. You need to be the role models for the next generations of men who are going to grow up wondering who they actually in a world that will be divided as Feminists and non feminists.
Gender equality, people, that means both genders are important and must be respected like that. We both have role to play in society and that role is defined by each person, not society. No man/ woman is an island. Lets not forget that.
krupa
P.S while the trigger point was the video that I watched recently, this is a topic that has been on my mind for a while. I am not trying to trigger any sort of an argument or ruffle up any feathers in the wrong way.
My blog. My opinion. Period.
I recently came across a video on YouTube where the UN has brought in 7 YouTubers as Change Ambassadors. All 7 are women. While it is heartening to see that so many women are standing up and being represented, why only women?? Why has the UN not recruited any men from the world of YouTube as Change Ambassadors? Are men happy that they are always portrayed as muscular and strong and the one who isn't allowed to cry?
Why is it that it is always women who are seen to be in the forefront of change when it comes to inequality? Are the men too busy making money and careers to care about it? Or are they not being given a platform?
Some time last year, Vogue has put out a beautiful video which was called #StartWithTheBoys. It talked about how from a very young age, a baby boy is taught to not cry to express his emotion. No wonder they have issues talking about how they feel as they grow older. Having worked with a very interesting age group of kids (14-19), I know how hard it is to get a guy to express his emotions. I have struggled and sometimes, I have written it off as hormones. In his head it is is either anger or happiness, that's all. Two ends of the spectrum. What happens to every thing else that he feels? Are those not emotions worth being talked about? Is he not allowed to be upset and show that he is upset but not angry?
Most women complain that she can never get through to her guy. That her husband/ boyfriend/ fiancee/bestie/ brother is incapable of having a conversation without it turning into a shouting match and this usually ends with the woman saying "fine" and the man reading it as "oh now she is pissed with me and I have to give up what I want for her because she is weaker".
Men are sensitive too. They are just bad are accepting it. They mask every emotion because it is what they have been taught to do. It is what they have been told to do. It was what they believe to be acceptable.
I think what I am trying to say is that while I applaud the UN for having gender equality as one of their 17 sustainable goals, maybe, just maybe, they need to go about it in a different way.
I loved Emma Watson's speech- He for She. She has all the right points in place. But I would love for it to come from a man as well.
Now you may ask how am I doing anything about this. Well for starters, my fashion blogs always features real people, The guys with the beer bellies, the short petite women, the acne riddled faces (such as my own). This is me telling the world that I believe that models for a fashion blog need not be perfect. I don't need your toned, 6 pack ab to showcase my styling and the brands that I feature. And I sure as hell am not going to photoshop it in. Real people. Real stories. That is what my fashion blog is about.
Secondly, I like to believe that I have given my students and friends and family the comfort level to come and talk to me about anything. No judgement will be passed. If it is a guy who wants to cry about how a girl who secretly had a crush on for 4 years broke his heart, I am there to hear it. When my mom wants to prove that she can still lift suitcases from the attic all by herself, I stand by her (inside I do cringe and worry that she may hurt her back but that is because of the age and not the gender). When my sister come back after a gig at 2am, I tell my parents to not worry 'because she is a girl'.
Thirdly, I don't usually talk about controversial topics only because I find that the discussions (read as comments) that follow are totally useless and not helpful. However starting with this post, I am going to make myself heard a lot more especially if it something that I think can be changed. If I can help change even one person, I will be happy.
So my darling students and my friends, this is for you.
To girls out there- encourage the men in your life to talk. It takes time and he may surprise you (remember Paul Stevens. The older man that Rachel dates in FRIENDS and how he never stops crying in one episode). But do it. You need to be the role model for the next generation of girls who are never going to understand that feminism is not about fighting for women alone unless they see that the coin has two sides.
To the guys out there- There is nothing wrong with getting touch with your emotional side and expressing it. Okay sure maybe you don't want to be crying on a date but find a way to express it. Write prose, write poetry, shout it out, whisper it. but get it out of your system. It is not macho to get drunk to and send emo-shit messages to the women in your life. You are human. You are supposed to have emotions to express. If you don't, then you are definitely classified as a robot. You need to be the role models for the next generations of men who are going to grow up wondering who they actually in a world that will be divided as Feminists and non feminists.
Gender equality, people, that means both genders are important and must be respected like that. We both have role to play in society and that role is defined by each person, not society. No man/ woman is an island. Lets not forget that.
krupa
P.S while the trigger point was the video that I watched recently, this is a topic that has been on my mind for a while. I am not trying to trigger any sort of an argument or ruffle up any feathers in the wrong way.
My blog. My opinion. Period.
