What I don't expect from my husband

Okay so the previous post was after I said yes. Lets rewind a bit to the start. The very beginning, when my profile was uploaded onto the matrimony website. So a lot of people asked me what I sort of husband I wanted, or what I expected from my husband.
This is what I would have liked to put as a write up on the matrimony site.

Dear hubby-to-be


Lets just clarify a few things right now. I am a strong independent woman. I don't need you to carry my shopping bags, but if you come along it would be great. I get an extra pair of hands and more bags can be carried. I don't need you to know that MAC is a makeup brand, so long as you don't ask me "why do you need one more lipstick", it is all good. I don't need your credit card, but if you do offer to pay I am not going to say no. I don't need your shoulder to cry on, but I would prefer it to a cold pillow. I don't need you to tell me that I look gorgeous, I know it, but if you do it definitely buys you brownie points. You don't have to plan surprises. I get that it may not be your forte, but if you did, I would love you more for just trying. You don't have to remember all of my best friends names, but it would be great if you just told me that you don't remember rather than pretend you do. I don't expect you to understand the pain I go through when I am on my cycle, but don't throw me glances which say "Damn I dunno when she'll have a mood swing now". You don't need to ask my permission for a boys night out, but you sure as hell better have some sense as to when not to go. I don't expect you to understand why I can't stand some of your girl friends, but please don't ask me to be buddies with them.

In short, I don't expect anything from you except that you should know what I expect.

krupa

I said Yes.

I said yes. I cannot believe I said yes without even thinking. Well more precisely without over thinking. What did I say yes to? I said yes to getting married. To getting married to a guy I've spoken to for less than 2 weeks. To a guy I've never held hands with, or had ice cream with, and never said I love you too. But yes, I said yes to him.

Me, the girl who has had thoughts of marriage since the age of 22, whose thoughts on marriage have evolved over the years but has not changed from that one basic criteria. The criteria that the guy I marry should let me be who I am. Me, the girl who at the age of 30 was sure that I would land up with one of those very typical thayir sadham loving, showing signs of prosperity around the belly, visits the temple every other day, and says 'abishtu abishtu' at the idea of cooking with garlic and eggs, kind of guy. I said yes to getting married.

I am not fond of change. This space on the Internet has heard me say that one too many times. I fear change despite knowing that change is the only constant. Yet the last two years has seen me grow with change. It has seen me move from one to another change in my life and I like to believe I have done it with grace. Now comes this. Marriage. The next big change in my life and I said yes to it.

I know I know that I left a lot of dialogues in my previous post about marriage, about wanting a guy who is like this and who isn't like that, etc etc, blah blah. But would you believe it if I told that I found a guy better than all of that. I'm still learning more about him as each day passes. I am still finding out that he is more than what meets the eye. I am still discovering that he is mature, sensible, grounded, fun and amazingly lovable. But I said yes, because he is the sanity to my craziness. He is the partner in crime, the shoulder to cry on, the friend, the roomate and more importantly he's The One.

I said yes because when I wrote about what I wanted in a guy to get married to him, I never thought I would find it. I am not getting my simple wedding, but in comparison to the lifetime of happiness that I am getting, it seemed like a small sacrifice. So I said yes. Yes I am getting married.

krupa